The Orange Analogy

One of the primary functions of government is the continuance of the nation or state. As such, it has an interest in human reproduction, especially reproduction that happens naturally and is the result of normal, natural, common behavior between two citizens.

One of the primary functions of a grocer is to sell food; a produce seller sells produce (fruits and vegetables). A common item a produce seller sells is oranges.

But not everybody likes oranges. Some people are downright allergic.

Let's say most of these people are intensely drawn to playing with an orange rubber ball (ORB).

They insist the produce seller sell ORBs.

"I have no interest in selling ORBs, I am here to sell oranges," says the produce seller (PS).

"But we don't like oranges," says the activist group (AG) that likes ORBs.

PS: "Okay, well then, you don't have to buy oranges."

AG: "But we're here in the store. We have a right to participate in buying. We're no less human beings than your other customers."

PS: "I didn’t say you were. I'm here to sell oranges. ORBs are not oranges."

AG: "What's the difference? ORBs are round and orange, just like oranges."

PS: "But they're not food. I sell oranges because people eat them."

AG: "Not every orange that gets bought gets eaten. Some that get bought are too old, or are rotten, or infested. Some get destroyed. Some are used for decoration."

PS: "But most oranges are eaten. I sell them in this produce store because they are food. ORBs are not food. Oranges satisfy hunger and provide nutrition to the body."

AG: "But I saw that shopper right there buying oranges in here buying oranges several times before. How satisfying can they be?"

PS: "That doesn’t change the fact that oranges are food, and ORBs are not."

AG: "Some orange buyers also buy ORBs. Some do it under the table."

PS: "That doesn't change the fact that oranges are food and ORBs are not. Why should I sell ORBs?"

AG: "To make money. Selling ORBs will financially benefit the store and make us happy."

PS: "Fine! Okay!!! I will sell them elsewhere in the store."

AG: "Make them the same price."

PS: "Okay! Whatever you want."

AG: "Now put the ORBs in the orange bin, and sell them together."

PS: "But they're not oranges; they’re not food!"

AG: "It isn't about food. It is about selling things to people. Putting the ORBs in the orange bin and calling them oranges won't hurt the oranges."

PS: "ORBs do not provide nutrition."

AG: "There's enough nutrition in the world. Besides, we can put peanut butter on the ORBs and get nutrition that way. Sell the ORBs as oranges."

PS: "No! Look, I polled my customers, and the majority do not want that."

AG: "We're taking you to court."

The management of the produce store does not want to bother with court. Fans of Oranges (FOO), a customer group, decides to defend distinguishing oranges from ORBs in the store.

Judge: "Because the store sells both oranges and ORBs, and agreed to sell ORBs at the same price, it has to sell the ORBs from the orange bin, labeled as oranges."

Orange-buying customer: "I hate people who play with ORBs."

FOO: "That's irrelevant and you're not helping."

AG: "See! The only reason not to sell ORBs as oranges is hate!"

Judge: "You, FOO, have not demonstrated through legal evidences that oranges are different than ORBs. I mean, even though I don't buy oranges and I like ORBs, you haven't proven legally there's a difference. People get nutrition without buying oranges. People eat oranges without buying them in the store. Oranges are more prestigious than ORBs. This hurts the feelings of those who don't like oranges, but like ORBs. ORB-lovers have been hated. So I rule that produce sellers must sell ORBs as oranges."

...and that's how orange rubber calls, by court order, will be labled as oranges.