It is Natural For a Child to Have and Want a Mommy

There are men out there, some partnered with other men, raising children the best they know how. If the choice is institutionalization or a two-man home (the men being generally good people), then I go with the two-man home. God bless people who choose to rescue children from institutionalization.

What I do NOT support is when unmarried people or same-sex couples intentionally create a situation through "third party" reproduction in which a child will be condemned to motherless or fatherless lives, or adopt infants or other children that could easily be places in a bride+groom home.

Rob Watson, LGBT activist, demonstrates why.

I always figured there were certain hateful statements that my sons would make, especially ones that say I am inadequate.

Hateful. Really?

I rushed him to the nearby bathroom as the stomach convulsions continued, and we experienced one of what would be many rounds of this illness episode. It was a horrible event, because there was nothing I could do for him but hold him while his body expelled the contents of his stomach. He cried and gasped and tried to recover.

"I am so so sorry," I whispered as his body tensed again.

"I want my mommy," he cried out, bursting into tears!

Say what?!

He... wants... his... mommy.

However, his comment was still concerning, because there is no such person in his life, nor has there ever been. He has been in my arms since he was 4 days old and weighed 4 lbs. There was a birth mother, but she was not a "mommy" and has never been there for him.

Yes, but he knows other kids have their Mommy.

I tried to ignore the comment, and I pet him gently. I had to say something, though, and I heard myself muttering, "You have a daddy, and I am here, boo."

He looked up and cried, "But you aren't my mom!"

Now I was at the emotional edge.

You were at the emotional edge?

"You have a dad, boo, not a mom," I said. "I do all your mom things for you. A mom just does what I do but would be a girl. I am your mom. Try to relax. You will feel better in a minute."

He looked at me again and cried out, "I want Papa!" Papa is my ex and was my co-parent for the boys. He chose to keep his distance from us over the past year.

Lovely. How fun for the kids.

The fact was that nothing could magically give my son comfort in that moment. I was not going to be able to make that happen. He knew it, and I knew it, and in his hypoglycemic irrationality he was lashing out in any way his mind could muster.

It is natural for a child to want his mother.

For me, the drama would continue: My younger son also got hit with the illness, so my new partner Jim took care of one child in one bathroom while I took care of the other child in another bathroom.

Oh, great. Just like heterosexual people who keep introducing their new lovers to their kids. More chaos. At least with heterosexual couples there are stepmothers as well as stepfathers. These children will not have a female parent with whom to bond and learn from, and yes, there IS a difference. Gender makes a difference to Watson in his relationships. Gender makes a difference in parental relationships, too.

The entire adventure is now a thing for our family history book, under "Thanksgiving Disasters," but still I felt the nagging residual pang of sadness over my son's declaration. I finally talked to him recently, and the conversation affirmed that he is not feeling that he is lacking anything with only male parents in our family.

He's going to tell you what you want to hear. He has no idea what he's truly missing, other than missing a mother.

He explained that one of his school friends talks to him "in private" and tries to tell him that he needs his "real" mother, and this friend has tried to get him on sites to "find" her. 

It is none of that other person's business, but biology makes it clear that there was a biological mother at some point. The writer might as well blame it on a biology textbook. Adopted children sometimes latch on to fantasies of other parents, but at least when there's both a mother and father present, they can honestly say we are your mother and father.

I do not believe that children of all ages should be privy to the intimate details of adult relationships, but they do need enough information to know that many family structures exist, thrive and are equal to their own.

How is a one-parent family equal to a two parent family? It isn't - not for the kid. How is a motherless pairing equal to a gender-inclusive pairing? It isn't - not for the kid. Saying they are all equal doesn't make it so. They are objectively different.


I fully support the freedom of association. If someone wants to pair with someone of the same sex (or for a triad, or whatever) that should be entirely up to them. Have ceremonies/parties/vacations, change your names, exchange jewelry, so on and so forth. Children do not have the freedom of association, and when activism pushes aside the needs of children in the quest for popular affirmation of private behavior, that is where the line is drawn.