How to Call Talk Radio

When you call a talk radio show, do you want to be heard by as many people as possible? Do you want to sound coherent? Do you want to get your point across to as many people as possible? Do you want to help make the show a good one?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, read on.

In case you didn’t know, talk radio, at least on commercial broadcasts, is there to sell advertising time. This means it needs to be entertaining. Hopefully, it will also inform. I often listen while stuck in achingly slow vehicle traffic. I listen to be informed, to laugh, and to be entertained so that my time stuck on the overcrowded slab of oily concrete will seem to go by faster.

As a talk radio listener, I implore, I beg you to follow these simple guidelines if you decide to call in to a talk radio show.

First, if you are calling to disagree with the host, remember that the host is a professional talker and possibly a professional debater, can turn your voice down, can put you on hold, or hang up on you altogether. The advantage is the host's, no matter how stupid their opinion seems to you. You are there to make compelling radio and/or make the host look good. If you disagree with the host, asking the right questions of the host will get your point across to critical listeners, but don't count on being able to even finish asking your question.

Know what you want to say - the points you want to make or the questions you want to ask - before you make the call, being prepared to utter the most important one first. Time will be limited, so the more direct and simple, the better. You may have time to make only one short statement.

Avoid saying "I think…" or "in my opinion".  We already know it is what you think and it is your opinion.  Who else's would it be? You are the caller, after all. For example, say "Education should not be a federal government matter" instead of "I think education should not be…"

Refrain from calling up to say simply "me too" or "I agree."  That is so boring.

Use a reliable phone. If you can use a phone that is connected by a wire (instead of cordless), use that. If you have to call from your car, speak clearly and directly into the phone.

Avoid using a phone that has call waiting activated.  It is extremely annoying.

Call from somewhere quiet.  If you are in your car, roll up the windows.  You're going to want to hear what is said to you or asked of you – making the host repeat himself or herself is so boring to the listeners and makes you look like an idiot.

If you get a ring instead of a busy signal, turn your radio off.  There is a delay between when the host is actually talking to callers and when that broadcast reaches your radio, which can cause confusion, and will make you sound like a complete idiot, if you even get on the air.

Pay attention to the phone, so you can talk with the screener and so you will be ready when the host chooses you. You will almost always talk to a screener first.


When the host gets to your call:

Don't ask if you are talking with the host, as in "Is this Michael?" Assume it is. The worst that can happen is that you are talking to the screener again, and you'll have to repeat yourself once you actually get on the air.

Answer their question, if the host just asked you one, such as "Who is this?".  Otherwise, get straight to your point/question/statement without waiting like an idiot for more prompting.  You called the show to say something, after all - it's not like the host called you.

Don't repeat your name or other information if the host already said it. Come to think of it, if the host gets your name wrong, you need not correct the host - it doesn't matter - you are anonymous anyway.

Don't do any gushing or complimenting beyond "ditto", as it uses up valuable time. The host may tolerate kissing-up, but it is tiresome to us.

Don't ask how the host is doing. This is not a normal conversation. The host has all hour, minus the commercial breaks, to tell the audience how he or she is doing if they choose to - they are the host, after all.  They've probably already said how they're doing a half dozen times during the show already.

We don't care if you are nervous, a first time caller, or how hard it was to get through, or how long you've been on hold.  WE... DON'T... CARE!!!

Don't mention the call screener. The screener is there to make sure you fit the purposes of the program and that you are prepped to be on the air, and to provide a little information about you call to the host so that the host has some idea what he or she is getting into when they take your call. There is no point in mentioning the screener on-air unless the screener is the topic. Pretend like you just called the host directly.

Don't mention other radio hosts/programs, unless the host has that as the topic that hour.  The audience may not be familiar with them, especially if your host's show is syndicated or simulcast, since different radio stations have different programming, and really, would you want someone coming to your business and talking in front of your other customers about how they were using your competition earlier in the day?

Don't say "good morning/evening", etc. Say "hello", if anything. People may be listening to the program at different hours and in different time zones, especially if they are podcasting.

After making your statement or posing your question, shut up and listen to the host, especially if you were calling for advice.  Don't try to talk over the host.

If the host refers back to you, respond to what the host actually says, instead of just blurting out something else you wanted to say.

Don't ask if you can ask another question – that wastes time. Either ask the second question and let the host decide whether or not to continue with your call, or hang up. There are probably a lot of people trying to get through, unless you are calling an underachieving host.

Unless you are calling a satellite radio program or podcasting-only program that allows "dirty" words, refrain from using them, especially the "f" word and the "s" word. They will almost certainly get cut out before reaching the air, and the host will likely hang up on you. Even if the host doesn't hang up on you, your call will sound mangled on the air, as if you stop talking in mid-sentence and the CD skipped.

You only have a few moments on the air.  Use them wisely, or people like me turn to something that is more entertaining or informative.

Wow, I'm getting impatient in my old age.