I'm time for my annual reminder, so I'm bumping this up.
Ladies, if you have a man in your life with whom you will be celebrating Valentine's Day, he will probably never admit this to you, but chances are he hates Valentine's Day. He will never admit it to you because you seem to enjoy it and he doesn't want to rain on your parade.
There are many reasons why most men do not enjoy Valentine's Day.
Men tend to be practical when it comes to money. You expect him to blow money on overpriced chocolates, flowers, jewelry, gifts, dinners in crowded restaurants, hotel rooms, etc. Chocolates? They'll be gone soon, and frankly, most American women don't need the extra calories. That's a fact, since 2/3rds are overweight and half of those are obese. Flowers? They'll be dried and withered soon.
Men stress out looking for the right cards, the right gifts (you know how men are about Christmas shopping, right?), making the right reservations, because some of you punish your man if he doesn't magically read your mind and do exactly the right thing.
Sure, some women buy their man a gift, too. But if he is the breadwinner, isn't that really spending his money anyway? And let's be honest – Valentine's Day is really about women, and there's no equivalent for men. Maybe Superbowl Sunday, but unless you make your man killer munchies that day, you're not doing a lot of planning and buying gifts and cards for him, are you?
Now, shouldn't your man enjoy bringing you the pleasure of being fussed over and reminding you that he loves you? Yes. But do you reciprocate? If you point to sex as the reciprocation, this implies that you don't also enjoy sex. In which case something is very wrong. Otherwise, sex is a mutual exchange. (If you're not married, you shouldn't be fornicating anyway.)
Men show they love their woman year-round by paying the bills, by protecting her, and by doing many other things, often including lifting heavy objects, opening things, reaching for things, removing scary things, doing fix-its on the home and vehicles. Do you show your love for him by respecting him, keeping yourself together, keeping his stomach full, making love to him as often as he wants it without dropping things he enjoys off of the menu, being a smart shopper, and doing domestic chores (if he is the breadwinner)? These things may not be important to you, but they are likely important to him.
A happily married man can enjoy Valentine's Day because his wife shows genuine appreciation for his efforts to celebrate their love, and he likes to see her happy. However, statistics show that such men are outnumbered by either unmarried men (who don't have a girlfriend, or have one pressuring him for marriage when he isn't ready or doesn't want to even marry) or married men who are unhappy, and those men are lot less likely to enjoy Valentine's Day, and even happily married men might not like the obligation to do this on February 14, when your love should be celebrated each and every day.
(As a side note - there are some single men who enjoy the day because they can find desperate women who are easy scores in the bars. )
So if he makes a big deal about Valentine's Day, don't make him regret it. He's doing it for you.
(There are unfeminine women reading this scoffing that anyone still believes in gender roles. I guarantee you they are not making any man's Valentine's Day enjoyable. Remember I'm talking about generalities here. You can always find some people who are abnormal for their sex, and there are the scoffers who try to deny any real difference between the sexes or who will claim there are more than two sexes, or that I should use the term "gender" and that gender is something someone can change or may be different than outside appearances... blah blah blah. We're dealing here with generalities and NORMAL people. Men tend to have penises and are masculine, women tend to have vaginas and are feminine. That any given visitor is a butchy female or has some effeminate husband is her problem, not mine. I'm not writing to the niche or freakish, I'm writing to the general population. )
UPDATE from 2012
Ladies, if you have a man in your life with whom you will be celebrating Valentine's Day, he will probably never admit this to you, but chances are he hates Valentine's Day. He will never admit it to you because you seem to enjoy it and he doesn't want to rain on your parade.
There are many reasons why most men do not enjoy Valentine's Day.
Men tend to be practical when it comes to money. You expect him to blow money on overpriced chocolates, flowers, jewelry, gifts, dinners in crowded restaurants, hotel rooms, etc. Chocolates? They'll be gone soon, and frankly, most American women don't need the extra calories. That's a fact, since 2/3rds are overweight and half of those are obese. Flowers? They'll be dried and withered soon.
Men stress out looking for the right cards, the right gifts (you know how men are about Christmas shopping, right?), making the right reservations, because some of you punish your man if he doesn't magically read your mind and do exactly the right thing.
Sure, some women buy their man a gift, too. But if he is the breadwinner, isn't that really spending his money anyway? And let's be honest – Valentine's Day is really about women, and there's no equivalent for men. Maybe Superbowl Sunday, but unless you make your man killer munchies that day, you're not doing a lot of planning and buying gifts and cards for him, are you?
Now, shouldn't your man enjoy bringing you the pleasure of being fussed over and reminding you that he loves you? Yes. But do you reciprocate? If you point to sex as the reciprocation, this implies that you don't also enjoy sex. In which case something is very wrong. Otherwise, sex is a mutual exchange. (If you're not married, you shouldn't be fornicating anyway.)
Men show they love their woman year-round by paying the bills, by protecting her, and by doing many other things, often including lifting heavy objects, opening things, reaching for things, removing scary things, doing fix-its on the home and vehicles. Do you show your love for him by respecting him, keeping yourself together, keeping his stomach full, making love to him as often as he wants it without dropping things he enjoys off of the menu, being a smart shopper, and doing domestic chores (if he is the breadwinner)? These things may not be important to you, but they are likely important to him.
A happily married man can enjoy Valentine's Day because his wife shows genuine appreciation for his efforts to celebrate their love, and he likes to see her happy. However, statistics show that such men are outnumbered by either unmarried men (who don't have a girlfriend, or have one pressuring him for marriage when he isn't ready or doesn't want to even marry) or married men who are unhappy, and those men are lot less likely to enjoy Valentine's Day, and even happily married men might not like the obligation to do this on February 14, when your love should be celebrated each and every day.
(As a side note - there are some single men who enjoy the day because they can find desperate women who are easy scores in the bars. )
So if he makes a big deal about Valentine's Day, don't make him regret it. He's doing it for you.
(There are unfeminine women reading this scoffing that anyone still believes in gender roles. I guarantee you they are not making any man's Valentine's Day enjoyable. Remember I'm talking about generalities here. You can always find some people who are abnormal for their sex, and there are the scoffers who try to deny any real difference between the sexes or who will claim there are more than two sexes, or that I should use the term "gender" and that gender is something someone can change or may be different than outside appearances... blah blah blah. We're dealing here with generalities and NORMAL people. Men tend to have penises and are masculine, women tend to have vaginas and are feminine. That any given visitor is a butchy female or has some effeminate husband is her problem, not mine. I'm not writing to the niche or freakish, I'm writing to the general population. )
UPDATE from 2012
